Broken knees and broken keys :: Real Ale Reviews

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Broken knees and broken keys

January 25th, 2010FletchtheMonkeyBeer Events

Wils Swan was £1.49 a pint whilst the footy was on - and I had one for each Leeds goal (plus our penalty save!)

There are arguably too many moments I cringe at to call myself a responsible drinker with any real level of conviction. The ones that came in the gap year before I university are mostly classified under the ‘regrets’ section of my brain. As year one of university unfolded the balance of ‘I never want to remember doing that’ versus ‘I’m pretty pleased with myself’ was evenly weighted and shifted towards to positive end of the spectrum as I matured, with a few ‘we’ll laugh at that in a few weeks’ moments thrown in for good measure.

But at 26 I thought I’d stopped doing things like singing Leeds songs in rowdy northern cities not called Leeds and waking people up in the middle of the night.

Unfortunately Saturday’s combination of Jermaine Beckford’s 95th and a half minute equaliser and Stone Ruination IPA being on draught (or draft should I say) at the last pub of our #twissup crawl, ensured the night was one that would bring back some of those youthful moments of folly.

Returning to the Hillsborough Hotel after a skinful of cask conditioned Wild Swan and a liquid supper of fancy beers from the newly opened Sheffield Tap, a bunch of bedraggled beer bloggers struggled to open the blue painted door at the front of the pub. Having no qualifications in door opening and a more general problem with late night coordination turned out not to be a career changing combination as the shiny Yale key duly snapped in the lock leaving the burning eyes of my beer chums planted firmly on my back.

I’m sure the night slowed down for a moment and the consequences of my blunder flooded through my mind: budding friendships lost, a hole in my credit card and not much chance of being welcome at the hotel again in a hurry.

Ruination IPA was a bit of a hit, despite being twice as expensive as the Wild Swan for half the measure (pic by Matt from Hopzine.com)

After suffering a torrent of despair from the group we eventually found our way in the side door and out of the cold Sheffield night. And on the landing the world came crashing down again as Pete Brissenden tried to open the room he was sharing with Mark Dredge. Of course I’d snapped his room key in the door and with that all the frustration of several countries manifested itself in Pete’s face.

I could feel Mark sharpening his pencils into makeshift darts and all the hope drain from Pete’s face as he slumped to the floor, back against the fastly locked door. At that point I was scared Pete might actually attack me with the bottle of Skrimshander he’d saved for a nightcap.

All the analogies are appropriate: floor sucking me up, ostrich head in sand. There isn’t enough analogies for the way I felt when Woolpack Ann came out to ask us all to shut up and sort out our sleeping arrangements before Woolpack Dave came out and sorted us out new… you get the picture.

Despite my restless sleep – involving a fight with myself a four in the morning apparently – it was all resolved in the morning and I can’t thank everyone enough for letting me off the hook with only gentle jibing and the acceptance of the first round at North Bar later.

There’s a moral to the story – don’t trust beer bloggers* with keys.

The broken knees refer to one bloggers intimate meeting with a hard floor earlier in the evening thanks to an involuntary tumble (too much Carling I guess!). You can’t trust beer bloggers with bus travel either…

_{*This beer blogger}

Tags: #twissup, bloggers, blogging

9 Responses to “Broken knees and broken keys”

Reluctant Scooper January 25th, 2010 at 11:26 pm

Lightweight! Lightweight!

Baa! Baa! Baa!

For Services To Self-Mocking Bloggery, you, Sir, get a pint gratis from me the nest time we meet.

btw – Ruination may have been twice the price of Wild Swan for half the measure but it was ten times the beer

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Pete Brissenden January 25th, 2010 at 11:47 pm

All was well in the end mate, and I couldn’t have attacked you with that bottle of Skrimshander. It was locked in the room.

I was dissapointed to not hear Mark’s now legendary drunken sleep talking. I might have heard him mumble something about Brokeback Mountain and leaving his boots on, but it might have been a dream.

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markdredge January 26th, 2010 at 5:29 am

I don’t remember you getting a round in North Bar!?

I think this one can be stored in the ‘ones we’ll laugh about’ section – it added an extra twist of excitement to the evening!

And Pete might have heard my drunk sleep-talking but his snoring was so bloody loud he couldn’t!!

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Andy mogg January 26th, 2010 at 6:56 am

Classic mate! I honestly thought u were doomed when u started chanting whilst stood next to a rather large group of well oiled local youths but they seemed to take pity on you and not return too much abuse.

Just as well the ruination was the price it was, imagine the state you (and everyone else) would have got into.

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Kristy January 26th, 2010 at 7:31 am

I think Andy was the hero of the hour for spotting the look of excitement in Pete’s eyes at the thought of being big spoon with Mark and gave up his spare bed to a mad drunk woman who snores like a train. Sometimes you can’t stand in the way of true love though……

And what idiot fell over on the bus??? Seriously some people just can’t take their ale……..:oS

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FletchtheMonkey January 26th, 2010 at 7:35 am

@markdredge I bought you a round of cheese handcrafted by Alex James…

It was a great day and night and it will also be classified alongside those uni nights I’ll never forget (for good reasons!)

PS @reluctantscooper Lightweight? Touche!

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crownbrewerstu January 26th, 2010 at 8:14 am

there some great storys coming out from that night. I’m still finding out what I got up too, just seen that picture of me and scoop.
but the highlight of the night for me was a ride home in a police car!

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Tom Goodhand January 26th, 2010 at 9:20 am

I think we were wise to beat a hasty retreat from Champs on the final whistle. I don’t think we were very subtle about which team we were supporting.

Sounds like things got a bit messy after headed for the train.

Now, to organise that Leeds bar crawl for Leeds bloggers…

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Tandleman January 26th, 2010 at 9:31 am

Well it sounds like a proper piss up. You kids!

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